Life Inside A Pashofa Pot....
scraping the bottom
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Sep 9, 2005 Soooooo, I haven't posted in forever and my sister called me on it. March 26, 2005 It is a beautiful day. I can smell the bar-b-que and loving it. I don't think I could ever become vegitarian at the same time I don't think I could eat meat only because then I would miss bread. As I am getting so pudgy, but what I am most concern about is the quality of life. If I give up everything that I love, is that a good thing? I don't know but I don't think so..... March 25, 2005 The meeting last night was great. It was nice to be back after such a long time, or so it seems. I was thinking today that sometimes in life we need little reminders for the purpose of showing us what we miss otherwise we go on believeing that this is all there is. I spoke to my mother today and she said my aunt is cooking some pashofa and that she is going to be making wild onions. Talk about getting a person salivating. I think that blue and gold, do you not know about blue and gold sausage, let me tell you it is probably the best sausage there is holding back nothing. My folks still have out blue and gold sausage so I have to go pick it up. I can't wait. March 24, 2005 I couldn't sleep well last night although I was warm and comfortably cuddled. I was intent on constructing my own dreams. Isn't it funny when we want to cause a dream rather than just let it happen. I wanted something comforting, since my maternal grandfather is very sickly. My sister says that he won't make it to April 9th which is very sad. I was trying to remember when I saw him last and it seems like a very long time. I pulled out some pictures and video. It seems like he is so much younger than my fraternal grandfather was when he took a turn for the worse. What I associate most with him has always been his love for western books. I wonder though if that is all I will remember about him when he passes away. Is it morbid to think like this? I don't know. March 23, 2005 The fact is that life on reservations aren't always so great. Their is a lot of grief and depression when you look around at the reservation system. The act of a young gunman is a sad reminder that we need to put so much energy into our youth. How many grandparents end up raising their grandchildren? Don't say it is traditional, because taking off and not dealing with your responsibility is in no way traditional. Our children need to be taught by our actions and what do they learn if their parents are absent? March 22, 2005 Time sure flies. Anyway the exciting news has already past. The twins are born, Reece and Vance. They look alot like daddy but have some coloration from mommy. It will be exciting to see how they grow up so connected. Not being a twin.... I thought it funny that I am so close to my sister. Anyway, the Chickasaw Nation calendar this year has recipes all over it, so my website seems almost redundant now. I guess I should post some obscure recipes like cattail root gumbo or sassafras jubilee. Nov 23, 2004 There are those moments when you forget, forget what the past was. Every now and then it is good to have reminders. The other night, I thought nothing of going out with some other Indians to a coffee shop but plans were changed last minute to a club. I didn't drink as I have never alcohol anyway, so imagine my nightmare as the night progresses and my friends transform into blurry messes. I was so glad to get home and sort of mad at myself for letting myself get into a loaded situation. This lesson should be good for another 15 years or so. Sep 12, 2004 Did you ever have one of those days that just seems to keep going? As though the sun is stuck and the clock is taking 1/2 an hour for a minute, but the amount of work that you accomplish is really cool. As such, you don't know whether to despise the day or be content. Any way, I was reading an except from "The Circle Game" today. It is pretty heavy stuff! To sum it up well, it is a study on the effect that the forced aboriginal boarding and residential schools had on the Native population in regards to physical, emotional/psychological abuse, omission of action and governmental inaction. Like I said, it is very heavy reading. Sep 10th, 2004 There were moments when I was growing up that I thought life would be so much different. I am not saying better, only different. I never considered that one day I would be in between being young and being old. I think that time period seem to defy my imagination. I guess children just never contemplate what happens in the middle time of the stages of life. I can't complain about where I am in life, but every so often I have to stop and think. Tomorrow will be 14 years since my grandpa died. I am still miss him very much. Sep 9th, 2004 OKAY, I am back. Sorry about my abscene. About Dallas, hot and disappointing... did I mention muddy? So, Tuskahoma had its big Labor Day Festival. There was supposed to be Chickasaw versus Choctaw Tolih (Stickball game), but my tribe never showed up. Ouch. July 19, 2004 My dad and mom went to Stroud the other day to a Sac and Fox event. They stopped at a drive through ATM before heading over to a convenient store. Another Indian lady followed them from the ATM to the store and approached my parents while they were inside. She had their ATM card that they had left behind in the machine and wanted to return it. It just goes to show you that there are some nice people out there that will go out of their way to help. June 30, 2004 When you are one thousand miles from typical, is it okay to turn your back and keep on walking? I think as long as you feel that it is acceptable and it isn't directly harming someone, then enjoy the journey. My aunt once said that I wasn't crazy just eccentric which is just a fancy word for crazy isn't it. I think I will take my grandfather's advice and keep walking my road. June 29, 2004 I went to go to lunch and bought my lunch for only $.98. I am shocked at the cheapness of it. I guess yogurt and a banana is pretty healthy, but it isn't something I want to eat everyday. It reminds me of when I was a little kid. My sister and I saw that my mother got a lot of cultured yogurt (ice cream, we thought). So we opened some, but look this one had some kind of mold on it so we threw it out and continued throwing out the yogurt without realizing that it was supposed to be that way. June 27, 2004 I went to a training today. For some reason, it felt like it was too early even though it was 2 in the afternoon. But, it was a long day. Everyone seemed busy, but my sister had some great news to share. She has a bun in the oven. I think we should hold a give away in honor of the birth. June 26, 2004 Today, all I have to say is yaggggggggggg!!!!! June 25, 2004 The whole house is starting to smell like Tanchihomma. It isn't that it is so bad, it is just that it is smelly. I will turn it off for a bit, no, wait, maybe I shouldn't. I guess I will just go to bed. I am tired, running around too much. June 24, 2004 Okay, so I started cooking Tanchihomma the other day and I am still cooking it. It takes a long, long, long time. I think red corn is probably the toughest corn. I am considering of cracking the corn first next time. I was wondering if it would be good to braze it first then crack it or if it would lose something in the cooking. June 23, 2004 I have tons to do, but I don't want to do any of them. I think I will go home, even though I have the time to go to a class for about 30 minutes. June 22, 2004 I just got the nod that I can take off for the week of the playoff games. I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal to some people, but it means a lot to me. Does that make me competitive? June 21, 2004 Yahoo! We won the regional championship. I am so excited. This is so very cool. The trophy is pretty big, but that's not what makes it so cool. It is that I will have the chance to play the wildly fun championship playoffs against all the regional teams country wide. The only thing is that it is gonna be very hot. I am sunburned again on the lips, I don't know why I always sunburn on my lips. I think it is the carmex addiction that I have, I think it intensifies the sunlight. June 20, 2004 Okay, so I have had some problems with my website and my email. If anyone sent me anything, I didn't get it. My admin@pashofa.com stopped functioning, I still haven't figured it out. Althought my webmaster@pashofa.com is working just fine. Computers and programs are so weird. June 18, 2004 Harlon's Razor: Do not attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity. June 8, 2004 Protests are going on downtown today. Helicopters are flying overhead. I feel like I live in South Central. I was thinking about relevancy, today. I see the protesters with their supercharged energy fighting for their beliefs and I can't help but wonder if their explosions are overblown. Is it really the good fight they are fighting or just a fight? June 1, 2004 Ouch! I am injured from my softball game on Sunday. I was covering homeplate when this slider came in from third base. I got him out which is the main thing, right? I had a great time despite the injury. May 26, 2004 So, I have let the journal slip a little. I think I should get more regular on the updates. I have been a bit busy, doing what you say, I have no idea. I think it is strange that a person can be busy doing nothing but I guess I am successful at it. I bought a big watermelon the other day and ate half of it myself. I figure watermelon can't be bad for you since it mainly water, right? bwah ha ha ha ha May 25, 2004 My sister is married and wish her the best of happiness. It is funny, I never really imagined her to get married again. I am sort of happy that she did. After all, she was overworked. It was time that she left, she can get a better job and with greater effect elsewhere. I am pretty proud that she made the move. May 21, 2004 I received some disappointing news today. I won't be able to enter into a contest that I so wanted. But, before I hung up I was told that "whenever God closes a door, he opens up a window". I am sure that God isn't responsible for blocking me out of a local contest. But, if God closes a door, can't he just create another door? When I was a kid I used to climb through the window to get into the house when my parents had locked it up (latch key kid without a key you could say). Now that I am an adult, climbing through a window is no picnic. But, really, now, don't I deserve another door if God closed one in my face? Where is the respect? Why should people have to climb through a window after such a trauma? Shouldn't the windows be reserved for people who have recently strolled through a door? So, that they can look outside and see the other people racing up to the door. Maybe it isn't God that closes the door, maybe it is just some moron that beat me there and locked the door but didn't have the sense to lock the window..... May 19, 2002 Years ago when I was high school, I used to go to W.I.S.E. (Weekends for Indian Scholars Enrichment) that was designed for smart Indian students, Yahoooo!! I remember a girl that came down from Sequoia for a weekend. We were writing a short play together and she nicknamed herself Fish for her ability to down any 16oz beverage. She also penned a short poem about the "need for gloom". I knew that she was drinker, thus I avoided her. She didn't come back for the next weekend, I was somewhat relieved. And since she didn't come back, I killed off her character. I think that if I would have thought about it then, it seems that she wanted someone to reach out and help her. I didn't do it, but I wonder if she ever found the help that she desired. May 14, 2004 Okay, I have not kept things up to date for a while, sorry, now, I gotta get back to saying hey a little more regular. Lemme see, what profound thought can I say today.... hmmmm, well the way I see it, truth is always truth although our perception of it may change, the truth does not.... May 5, 2004 Someone once asked me about happiness. He asked what was it that made me happy. For him, it was his grandchildren. I contemplated it for a bit and thought there are so many things that keep me happy. I think that growing up in South Central Oklahoma made me into the person that I am. Perhaps, growing up with poverty isn't exactly the desire of everyone but it taught me to be appreciative. I don't think I remember being jealous of people that had running water (we had well water that had to be pumped) indoor plumbing (we had two outhouses) gas stoves (we had wood stoves but they cooked beans well) or bought everything at the grocer (we raised just about everything in the garden). Jealous I wasn't, but some people had the tendency to try and embarrass me. I think I could have held a grudge, but where does that get you. Instead, I embraced my identity and am happy with who I am and for me that is enough, rather than the material. Apr 29, 2004 Today, a thought occurred to me. I was thinking about arrival. It seems like everybody wants to arrive at some point or place. In Christianity, if you don't hit the mark going towards perfection then you are sinful. In Buddhism, finding your way to Nirvana seems to take a lifetime and lots of suffering or non-desire. In America, everyone is chasing happy. I guess you could say "little boy cry, little girl cry, old man cry, old woman cry, everybody cry for happy". Some people are just waiting for the day that they will feel good and wonders why it remains aloof. I don't think that happiness is a destination at all. I think that happiness is how you journey not where you are going. Often times, you have companions on your journey. The problem with companions is that of path divergence. You may start off together but it doesn't mean that you will stay the same road. Do you travel your road alone or share their's and if you share their's then for how long. Will they expect your desires to be the same as theirs? Will they notice the difference between your dreams and your reluctance yet willingness to help? Expectation is often high but will you be able to annunciate, communicate, relay your visions. Apr 28, 2004 I think that sometimes we are too hard on ourselves especially when obstacles get in our way. We have to constantly remember that even when we make mistakes that we ourselves are not mistakes... Apr 27, 2004 There is an illustration that says that a person's confidence is like stone that can slowly be chipped down and away. It is a good illustration, but not a positive one. I would say that confidence is more like classroom clay. The great thing about classroom clay is that it never hardens and can be reshaped over and over again. A person should be able to mold their confidence into a useful form. Rigidity is not always a good thing, but constant change and reshaping keeps us flexible. Perhaps, if we don't turn around, we just may get where we're going.... Apr 26, 2004 It has been said that truth is always true and unchanging, however our perception of truth may change. I don't regret my life and no one should. The worst thing in the world is reaching the autumn of your years realizing that you have lived your life conforming to other peoples' expections. This is why the gathering in Tulsa was so great on several levels. On a personal one, it was great to be surrounded by my brothers and sisters. When the day disappeared and the fire burned, it gave us a chance to connect. I think that some people were raised in a traditional setting. Rejection stemming from Christendom spreads quickly, it is sometimes easier to conform to expection or reject those rejecting you. For some it takes years just to be accepted by self not even counting the outside world. Perhaps, it is more fortunate for those of us that were true to ourselves at an early age rather than the pretense of something counter. I have been called crazy for years, but I would take 100 years of crazy than 1 year of pretense... Apr 23, 2004 A friend of mine told me the other day that he had been using Rogain for about a year and that it had done wonders for his hair. I paused for a moment thinking whether I should tell him that his partial baldness appeared a little worse. The reason I thought this was because I had noticed only a few days before a picture of him from about 9 months ago and I had thought "wow, he is losing his hair fast". It is not my place to tell him that he is going bald, but it is hard to bite my tongue. Apr 21, 2004 There was an article a while ago that talked about personal delusion. Sometimes, we can convince ourselves of our own abilities to deal with things without noticing the effect they may have on us. I like the thought the worth of a man isn't in his money or his talent, rather it is measured by the sum of his actions. Our decision to see the world through clear eyes will help us follow an upward path. Apr 12, 2004 Cold and dreary this weekend in Oklahoma. On the good side, the softball game went well even if my team lost. It was by one point!!!! I slid twice, which is once too often on my bottom. I am a bit sore today but I am going to shrug it off, I will play of softball with my younger brother on Thursday. Apr 9, 2004 Okay, so updating my website has taken awhile, I am not proud of my laxness. I will endeavor to be more up to date. Things to think about, being a good person isn't about having people view you as good, it letting your actions fulfill good unto itself. Mar 31, 2004 I was asked what is my compulsion with keeping my journal online. My answer is simply that I have never been one to keep my mouth shut. I think online is a great place to put my random thoughts of the day or week. Perhaps sometimes it is more of a think before you type situation, but it is so much funner to just let it stick where it will. I guess you could say that it is meaningless thoughts of a disturbed mind. Bwah ha ha ha ha. April 4th looms ahead by less than a week, another year has passed, time to change the clocks, for some in my family it is a time to wed. I am very happy for all those who have decided to mark the year with their marriages. Mar 24, 2004 Before the thirteenth Sun, when it was the first Ibichchala lhibokta ran the path along the green Effortless feet along the smooth earth, 'til the waterway Past the reflection lie rich sand Colorful pebbles strewn across the deep March 22, 2004 Yikes! There is no way to escape from some of your past mistakes. It is sort of like that old saying, "if you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot". A person always has be careful not to get jabbed. My big mistake is in believing that things will work themselves out: my credit card had expired so I assumed that the credit card company was just backlogged and didn't send it yet. Well, my insurance company suddenly sent a letter saying that they needed immediate payment because my card authorization didn't work. I called my credit card company only to find out that my credit card had been sent in January to some address somewhere in San Francisco. That is when I figure, I stepped on the thorn.... Mar 19, 2004 One of my favorite songs starts out "Can you see with your minds eye..." I appreciate that line, because any goal that you have should first be visualized. When you are having difficulty it is nice to be able to imagine that goal already realized. It is calming to think that even through hard times you can picture it before you. When we take steps in life, some are small and some are large leaps but we are always moving. What better way to paint the scenery than to picture yourself there, which is better than seeing how far away it may actually be. Mar 16, 2004 Finding balance can be an ongoing process. I spoke with a friend today who was ready to give up on ever meeting "the one". Sometimes, we get to caught up in the act of searching that we forget overlook everything else. It can be crushing though at times not to have that dream fulfilled especially if you grew up believing that there was a prince on a white horse or a princess waiting to be kissed. Perhaps, if we give up the fantasy we can focus on the kingdom.... Mar 15, 2004 I think it is interesting how things change, it is usually a very gradual thing. The awesomeness of the Grand Canyon took centuries. When people try to make a personal change, sometimes we expect instantaneous change, cutting them short. I think the person that can make that immediate change is impressive, but perhaps we are too used to instant fulfillment to cut some slack for those who have a lot of changing to do. A person changing their thoughts, values or etc truly depend a lot on personal conviction and us (we are the support system). The person must be strong, but we have to be there to help. Of course, we don't have the luxury of time like the Grand Canyon, so we must make do with the time we have and do our part.... Mar 14, 2004 Two years ago, I was surprised by having allergies for the first time. Last year, I didn't have a problem in California. This is a new year and it is not a pretty sight, let me tell you. I actually got some strange hive looking things on my forehead. I think there must be something floating in air that is NOT so good. The bad thing is that most the friends are just fine, no allergies... arrrrggggg. Mar 9, 2004 A dot crosses the screen A single line that widens quickly From the beginning the film creates the character and kills him with a pause The pause is just long enough so that you cry before he is revived The picture image bounces over the back of your eyelids That life is birth, death and life again But once taken down to reality The pause is just long enough the tears coming very easy but last longer Seeing makes me believe it that way Time melts snow and emits spring But the tears are just the same I would like to change the story Perhaps email a happier ending But, it cannot reach you Your computer has broken days I sent you a patch file and waited I watched expecting a reply but none came The pause is just long enough That sometimes I forget you are gone I imagine that my email floats away Somewhere perhaps lost in space In a thousand years, they will play the drum The music and electronic mail will play Arriving at your door to dance The pause is just long enough To evaporate tears in the noon day sun. Mar 8, 2004 "Every kid should have a memory like this..." Valori Harjo Mar 7th, 2004 Speaking about a night of wild abandon that took place after her mother nodded off into slumber(eating powered donuts, cheetos, and playing video games until the wee hours with two other young people). I started thinking about how times have truly changed. In my youth, I was always sad to see the flag with the America The Beautiful background music, because you knew that the station was signing off. We stayed up late, until about Midnight and that was it. Today, the TV stations just keep playing without a sign off. Is that good or bad... I don't know. Mar 3, 2004 Do you remember your first crush? I remember thinking that there was this tall, long haired beauty that was just perfect in every way. She was kind and sweet so very pretty, but she was daughter to Gene Atkins and he claimed some sort of kinship with my family, I am not so sure how but it seems that in one way or another Chickasaw people are related anyway. I had the chance to see her years later only to discover that she wasn't very tall, she had short hair and if she had looked like her father she may have been a tad bit prettier. The bottom line is that beauty isn't the glitter on the outside, beauty lies beneath the surface and I think that is what we see when we are young before our minds become impressed with popular concepts of beauty. How much better to know what lies beneath.... Mar 2, 2004 Have you ever had a scrounger in your office? A scrounger is a person that is the first to pipe up when something in the office is given away, say like a dilapidated shelving unit. The scrounger always has a place for it somewhere in the house or some big idea about how to use it. I don't really mind the scrounger so much except when the person starts to ask for things. I think that is crossing the scrounger boundary in begging territory, this is when I get a bit annoyed. I keep thinking that I should be the bigger person and refuse to get puffed up or annoyed, but sometimes that smaller more critical person inside gets an attitude.... Mar 1, 2004 Has anyone ever referred to you by another name? More precisely speaking, has anyone called you by the name of someone that wasn't in your good graces? In retaliation you returned the favor, only to discover later that somehow it burrowed into your brain and find that you can't separate the two speaking or thinking. Ultimately, we learn that being vengeful is filled with its own bitterness and at times, stupidity.... Feb 25, 2004 The sun was brightly shining in my eyes today, so I took the time to look at my shoes. I sort of like my tennis shoes, but I got to remember something from my childhood. I got some clodhoppers otherwise known as mountain boots, but I unlaced them and replaced the lace with orange yarn to give them more pizzazz. I then took the laces started using them for a belt, because I figured that I might as well use it. I had a belt already but wasn't too fond of it. I didn't start any trends, but I did manage to get in trouble when my mother learned that I had been going to school like that for a week before I was caught. Getting caught is common enough, my mother once gave my sister some groovy purple striped pants. My sister pretended to wear them, but ultimately my mother figured out my sister's ruse (putting them on AFTER she got home from school)..... Feb 24, 2004 It's funny how one builds their personal lexicon on little words and phrases and before long becomes distinctly one's own. But, it is just as funny how many times words are retired. There are words that I haven't used in years, but every so often they get resurrected in some way or another. Unrelated to this, many times people are talking to me while I am drifting, floating in my own little world. The result is that when people are talking to me and I am supposed to be listening. I find myself nodding and only catching garbled words. Resulting in my mind catching bits and making up the rest. Sort of like when I thought someone said, "I globbed it in a basket" causing me to laugh and get puzzled looks, only later to find that they actually said "I cried when I saw him in the casket". If I would have actually listened, perhaps I could have answered more appropriately... Feb 19, 2004 What motivates you? Are you motivated by an event or by a person in your life? I sometimes think that the seat of motivation should be guarded, protected and individual. I would prefer that I am motivated by my own desire to reach out, to improve, to branch. On a side note, I was told that obese people lose weight faster and easier than people with normal weight. I couldn't help but wonder why a person of normal weight would find the need for weight loss, then I thought about the skinny, bony person telling me this and if this little factoid was inferring something? Feb 17, 2004 All parents are concerned for their children when they don't feel very well, and my mother was no exception. She used to give these GIANT pills to swallow when I was feeling unwell. Realizing her concern, I would always pop the pill. However, with my tongue I would quickly position the pill into the space between my gums and the inside of my jaw. She would check to make sure I swallowed and had me stick out my tongue, but the truth be known is that as soon as she left the room I would spit it out and throw it under the bed. Which brings me to my thought of the day, how many things do children get away with unbeknownst to their parents? Where did you hide your pills? Feb 13, 2004 Ithanacho This one speaks in circles yet another in rectangles A strange course does this new language flow Ebbing the red clay and cascading over white angles Idle or outstretched, watching or performing, as a show. Do we forget the older streams or map out this new river A creek goes dry another full, seeds born and trees die A small tree well rooted whether swelter or shiver Whether drought or deluge, can the elements it defy. As our time dwindles, who will carry our waters on The river has changed but do we embrace what is done. Feb 8, 2004 Enough can't be said about having love for your neighbor. It is often called the Golden Rule, but there is another rule that is just as important. It is loving yourself. I have met a few people that disregard themselves in such a way that they miss this very important point. I remember an illustration I once heard. If your neighbor comes to you and asks for bread and you only have one piece, do you give him the bread? No, you split the bread and give him half, because what good is it if he takes the bread and you have nothing. Think not only of your neighbor, but also think about how it effects/affects you. Feb 5, 2004 I sometimes wonder when I will cease to be shocked by the worldly system. I just heard that the 11 year old girl that was abducted from the parking lot of a car wash was found dead at a Church. Just the other day, a woman and her daughter was walking to work when a man beat them to death with a tree branch. It seems that things just get worse..... Feb 3, 2004 Recently, a Burger King closed that was near me. Today, I learned that another Burger King closed that was a bit out of the way for me to get to and I was shocked. I personally am a fan of Burger King every so often, so needless to say I am a bit disappointed. My thought of the day is this: No act of charity goes unresented, no good deed goes unpunished..... Feb 1, 2004 I still seem to have timing issues. My father figured that it would change after my military service, but as of this date I still run on "Indian Time". My problem today had less to do with running late, as much as, obligating myself when my body isn't ready for it (bad Chinese food is nothing to sneeze at, come to think of it, bad food in general is nothing to sneeze at). Jan 28, 2004 Some people think that life is only worth living by making a specific name for themselves. It is bizarre the lengths of which people will go to be famous or infamous. I think the best route to take is to be positive even in adversity. The part of that is that even if you don't succeed, it will sure irritate those that wish you ill. Jan 27, 2004 There is a horrific misconception in the eyes of most Americans that the Indian nations are getting fat and wealthy over the supposed millions of dollars flushing through their casinos. Not true. Ninety-five of the major profits from Indian gaming go to 5 percent of the Indian tribes. This misconception has caused many worthy charities and foundations designed to help American Indians in economic, social, health and education issues to lose badly needed contributions. There are many tribes; including the largest (Navajo), the Hopi and others that do not have gambling establishments at all. One of the smaller chapters of the Navajo Nation located near Albuquerque will open a casino soon, but the majority of the Navajo people have voted "no" on building casinos. Rural Indian casinos Tribes like the Oglala Lakota of the Pine Ridge Reservation and the Sicangu of the Rosebud Reservation, although they both have casinos, are located in areas with sparse populations and these two tribes continue to have unemployment as high as 60 percent and remain within the boundaries of two of the poorest counties in America. There are hospitals located on most Indian reservations served by the Indian Health Service. Many of the doctors assigned to them are completing their residency and receive special benefits for fulfilling that obligation in Indian country. And yet, the Indian reservations, particularly in the West, have the highest infant mortality rate, the highest incidence of diabetes, and some of the shortest life expectancies in America. Alcohol, drug abuse and a high level of juvenile suicides have created further havoc in Indian country. Those tribes grown wealthy from their casinos have built new hospitals, new schools and have rebuilt the infrastructure on their reservations. Those without these moneymakers have seen their hospitals deteriorate, their schools crumble and their infrastructure revert to the 1920s. American Indians do not get a monthly check from the government unless it is a Social Security check or a welfare check. All others have to work for a paycheck. Indians do not have an unlimited fund waiting for them to attend college. Like all other Americans, they have to seek out scholarships and other sources of funds to attend college. Land held in trust The only thing Indians do not pay taxes on is the land that is held in trust for them by the Bureau of Indian Affairs. Otherwise, we pay taxes for heating for our homes, telephone service, gasoline, automobiles, washing machines, food, federal withholding taxes, Social Security and all of the other taxes paid by most employed and retired Americans. On most reservations we do have our own form of government, law enforcement, schools and colleges and judiciary. Some revenues are raised by the court system in the form of fines for criminal acts and for traffic violations. The other source of revenues comes through the treaty agreements signed between the sovereign Indian nations and the United States of America. In exchange for millions of acres of prime land teaming with natural resources, the United States signed treaties assuring the Indian nations that it would provide for their education, health and the needs of their sovereign governments for "as long as the rivers flow and the grasses grow." A bit poetic, but with deep meaning to the Indian people. Some of us joke that we neglected to read the fine print on the treaty that read, "Or ninety days, whichever comes first." Cobell's battle Indians do not get welfare or charity from the United States. What Indians receive is the rewards from promises written into the treaties that pushed us on to ever smaller reservations in exchange for vast quantities of the land that made America rich. Wouldn't you say that it is then a terrible shame that the Department of the Interior has mismanaged the meager financial returns to the Indian people and the Indian nations on their timber, oil and natural gas and other resources to the tune of more than $1 billion? And is it not also a shame that it took one determined woman, Eloise Cobell, a Blackfeet Indian, to bring a class-action suit against the Interior Department in order to seek restitution of these mismanaged and oftentimes stolen funds? America prides itself on its fairness and yet I do not hear a hue and cry over this shameful act of malfeasance and theft against the most impoverished people. When you see an Indian on television dancing in feathered regalia, do not think that it is a dance of happiness. Instead think of it as a dance designed for national consumption to conceal the real truth about the First Americans. Now that is the reality of Indian America. Whatever else you read or hear is not necessarily the truth. Tim Giago, an Oglala Lakota, is editor and publisher of the weekly Lakota Journal. He can be reached at editor@lakotajournal.com or at P.O. Box 3080, Rapid City, S.D. 57709. Jan 21. 2004 A little known fact to me is that in the desert a person needs to wear lip balm with sunscreen. At first, my lips were just chapped and this morning I awoke to B I G full lips. Yes, two good sized blisters filled with pus. I put some medicated lip balm on them, so now I look like I have giant silicone lips with shiny lip gloss.... sometimes life just ain't right.... Jan 20, 2004 I find myself very busy this time of year. Sometimes, I wish I made a multitude of hands but I would guess I would need a much larger brain for that.... hahahahahaa Jan 13, 2004 The weather is still holding hot, hot, hot. This weekend the desert will be burning I am sure. I will take to the field early on Saturday morning, hope I am awake enough. I am in need of a new awe-inspiring tie. I just can't seem to find one that I really like. I am rather tired, I stayed up a little bit to late last night. It reminded me of days long ago playing Ma Jong with some good friends. I might be in OK in April, I don't know yet, but the weather looks like I will need a break. Jan 12, 2004 I have found in life that laying blame is time consuming and unprofitable. It doesn't really matter who actually is at fault, laying the blame on anyone will not change you. It will not change the amount of frustration or sadness you may feel, sure, it deflects for a while and perhaps makes s
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